


Creek Oneshots

by maescop



Category: South Park
Genre: Alternate Universe - Hogwarts, Angst, Creek fluff, Fluff, M/M, South Park AU, South Park: The Stick of Truth, Stick of Truth AU, creek angst, oh god this is gay, sp creek, sp fluff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-03
Updated: 2018-11-12
Packaged: 2019-08-16 20:22:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,590
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16502084
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maescop/pseuds/maescop
Summary: a bunch of sometimes fluffy, sometimes angsty oneshots of these nerds





	1. Hogwarts AU

"Expecto Pa- GAH" Tweek yelped as his wand dropped out of his trembling hands. After it fell on the floor with a loud smack, he could feel the entire class' eyes on him. Too much pressure... he thought to himself. Their Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher, Mr. Garrison, let out a heavy sigh.

 

"For god's sake, Tweek." he groaned, "That's the 4th time you've done this today." In a normal situation for Hogwarts, the nice teacher would help whatever the student was having trouble with. But Mr. Garrison was not the nice teacher that any wizard or witch could've hoped to be teaching their class. Tweek let out another long 'ngh' as the class continued their practice in creating a patronus.

 

Some kids, like Kyle and Wendy, had already gotten their patronuses, which were an orca and a leopard respectively. Other kids were having some luck in summoning theirs, but Tweek could never hope to successfully perform the spell without freaking out halfway. He never found a good memory to think of! The sole factor in a patronus was the happy memories that sprouted it. But Tweek never had an experience like that. Before he was 11, he was forced to work at his Muggle parents' cafe, and then, once he came to Hogwarts, he was an outcast. No one wanted to hang out with the spaz who somehow ended up making coffee in every Potions class. Tweek was snapped out of his thoughts by the cold voice of someone next to him.

 

"Is this your wand?" the voice asked. Tweek swished his long robe to see another boy, a Ravenclaw, holding his hello and leaning on the desk.

 

"Y-yeah... thank you.." Tweek answered, clutching the wand out of the noirette boy's hands and staring down at his feet in shame. Tweek shifted in his seat a bit, and noticed that the Ravenclaw was also attempting his patronus with little success. Unlike Tweek, he had the nerves to actually finish the spell, but only a few white sparks managed to escape his dark, detailed wand.

 

He noticed Tweek staring at him, which caused his anxiety to somehow arise more than it already had.

 

"Can't think of a memory?"

 

"N-no..." Tweek replied, "N-nothing's really happy enough for it." The other boy blinked, and then turned back to his desk, and looked up to see other people's patronuses prancing and bouncing all around the sky. It was truly a sight to behold, but Tweek only trembled at the thought of the animals becoming real and attacking him. Tweek's only comfort was in knowing that the kid next to him was having the same issues as him. What was his name again? Craig, right? Tweek had overheard him and a couple other boys talking once.

 

"Same, I guess" Craig muttered again.

 

After a few seconds of awkward science, Tweek decided to try again. This time, he actually managed to get the words to the spell out without trembling and shaking, but nothing came out of it.

 

"Aaah! God dammit!!" Tweek swore quietly to himself, cupping his face in his hands and twitching like crazy. "I'm never gonna get this spell! I'm gonna fail all my classes and drop out of Hogwarts and live on the streets of Knockturn alley! GAHHHHH!"

 

This minor mental breakdown of Tweek's caught the attention of not only the small circle around his desk, but Craig as well.

"Need some help?" he said, despite not having any new luck with his patronus either.

 

Tweek took his hands out of his scared, red face. When was the last time someone offered Tweek help? Besides some teachers offering a hand with homework and his parents paying his Hogwarts fee (if that even counted), his peers never extended a hand for anything Tweek did. He felt his face burn up more than it already had.

 

"Uh.. sure." he responded, not really knowing what Craig would do to help. Tweek already thought he was a lost cause.

 

Craig scooched his chair closer with a screech that made Tweek twitch a bit harder than normal. Craig held up his wand to Tweek's, and used his other hand to hold the now-trembling boy's hand as well.

 

"Just concentrate on the things that make you happy, Tweek."

 

"How do you k-know my n-name!? Are you s-stalking me!? Gahhhhh!" Tweek stammered, beginning to worry some more about what events were taking place. Craig just inhaled.

 

"We've been at this school together for 3 years. Just relax and think of a happy memory."

 

"A-alright.. I'll try."

 

And as Craig shut his eyes, Tweek followed, feeling connected to the only boy who had cared enough for him.

 

What am I going to use for my memory? Tweek thought, This is way too much pressure!

 

I mean... a memory can be recent, right?

...

Ok. I think I got it.

 

"EXPECTO PATRONUM!" they both whispered at the same time. Tweek was too terrified to open his eyes. All of this would just be for nothing.

 

"Oh.." Craig said, making Tweek's mind fill up with worries and doubts.

 

"Did we do i-" Tweek started, opening one eye to see.. His patronus.

 

Well, their patronus.

 

Tweek and Craig just stared for a while, at the milky white guinea pigs scurrying around on their desks together. They pranced around for about a minute before nuzzling their little guinea pig cheeks and disappearing in a cloud of smoke. The two boys couldn't believe what they had just witnessed.

 

"Alright, class dismissed everyone." Mr. Garrison barked at the kids in the class before standing up and retiring to his chambers. Everyone followed suit, picking up their books and wands and retrieving the patronuses back into their wands.

 

Craig and Tweek walked out together, both blushing and both feeling a bit awkward over whatever just happened. They lingered in the doorway to the somehow barren Grand Staircase. After the long pause, Tweek finally got up the courage to speak again.

 

"T-thanks for h-helping me C-craig." he managed to squeeze out, before turning towards one of the moving staircases. Craig peeked his eyes over and let out a rare smile at Tweek.

"No problem." he responded, waiting for his staircase to come to take him to his next class. An awkward silence shifted between the two of them, both not knowing what to say.  
Tweek was confused about how and why their patronuses were the same, much less why they interacted with each other in such an affectionate way. There must've been something in his textbooks about that??

Tweek may or may not have overprepared for their patronus class, needing to know every little thing out of fear that everything would fall apart.

Well, maybe he didn't need it after all.  
He had Craig as a friend now, right?


	2. Blizzard

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tweek and Craig get stuck inside during a blizzard.
> 
> Tweeks outfit, in case you’re curious or just want a cute Tweek pic: http://grymmeoir.tumblr.com/post/176629665772/hey-i-wanted-to-say-that-ur-blog-is-really-cool

“God, where is he?” Craig groaned out, hands in his pockets and shivering from the cold. Dark clouds were forming over the outside of the elementary school and he wanted to get out as soon as possible. But he needed to wait for someone first.

There were probably only 2 things Craig cared about at all. The first was Stripe #4, his guinea pig, and the second was his boyfriend, Tweek.

Before he and Tweek were sort of forced into a relationship by the townspeople, they grew a bond for each other and both were genuinely dating now. So was Craig gay? 

Guess so.

Tweek was supposed to meet Craig outside of the school after the day was done to go to his house for the afternoon. The teachers said it was going to snow a bit, but that didn’t bother Craig. They’d probably be in his room playing video games and watching Red Racer anyways, out of the overpowering cold that swept over South Park.

Finally, the heavy doors burst open and a short, blonde boy in a brown cap and scarf ran out to meet Craig.

“gAH! Sorry I’m late-” Tweek yelped out, twitching a bit and still stuffing some papers in his backpack, “I was trying to get my stuff but Eric took my folder!!”

“That asshole,” Craig responded, “I’ll kick his ass for you.”

“N-no… I think him and Kyle were getting into a fight by the time I got it back anyways.”

Craig couldn’t help but notice how comfy and cute Tweek looked in his new outfit. He always wondered how his boyfriend managed to survive winter in the mountains with just a half-buttoned polo shirt and pants. On freezing days like this though, Tweek couldn’t stand the cold and put on some more weather-appropriate clothing. 

The two boys starting walking back to Craig’s house together, their breathing visible in the chilly temperature. Craig’s gloved hand took Tweek’s bare one, and they both started feeling tiny specks of snow scatter on their faces.

Craig looked back at his boyfriend, who snugged his face into his scarf to keep his cheeks from freezing. 

“Uh… You look really cute... like that.” Craig gushed, averting his eyes from Tweek. He was still pretty new to the whole ‘compliments’ thing. 

Tweek’s eyes shot open, burying himself in his scarf even further. Somehow, his red face got even redder. Tweek was also new to compliments, especially ones from Craig.

 

Finally, they reached the house, just when the snow started to come down a little harder and faster. They hurried in and up the stairs to Craig’s room, where Tweek finally took his hat and scarf off. He started staring out the window at the flurries of snow banging against the house.

“What’s wrong babe?” Craig asked, setting up his Xbox for him and Tweek to play.  
“Jesus… i-it looks pretty bad out there Craig!” Tweek responded, sitting down next to Craig on a beanbag in front of the TV. “What if we can’t get out!? What if we’re stuck in this room forever?!” 

Craig turned his head to his shaking boyfriend and blinked. He hated seeing Tweek like this. He grabbed Tweek’s hand again and tried to calm him down.

“It’s not gonna be that bad, Tweek, the weatherman said so. The storm will be over in a couple of hours. Besides…”

Tweek glanced up back at Craig and the TV, starting to twitch less.

“Besides what?!”

“Well, I wouldn’t mind being trapped here forever with you anyways.” Craig shrugged again, smiling down at Tweek, who was now such a blushing mess he was burying himself into the beanbag. Craig thought it was adorable.

 

After a couple hours of chatting, playing video games, and finishing their homework, the two boys sat back on Craig's bed. Craig was looking at his phone and Tweek was watching the weather outside. It had gotten much darker out, and the darkness didn't help Tweek's anxiety over the storm.

"I- I thought it'd be over by now!!" Tweek yelled, beginning to tremble again. It seemed that whenever he shot a glance outside, more snow had drenched over Craig's yard. 

"Yeah uh... same." Craig responded, starting to get a little concerned too.

Two knocks on the door caught both of their attention, and Craig yelled for them to come in. It was Mrs. Tucker.

"Hey boys," she said quietly, "It's a full-blown blizzard out there now. I don't think we're gonna be able to drop Tweek off until the roads are paved."

When Tweek heard this news, he started to twitch and shake a bit more than before.

"It's ok, Tweek," Craig's mom continued, "You can stay here for the night. I'm sure Craig won't mind." Tweek and Craig smiled, liking the idea of a surprise sleepover.

Mrs. Tucker shut the door on the pair, leaving them both in the dim light of Craig's room while the storm raged on outside. Craig glanced at Tweek, and then to his window. He scooted a bit over to reach his curtains, which when he pulled close, turned the room even darker. Craig leaned back into his boyfriend, wrapping his arm around his shoulder protectively.

"Is that better, honey?" he asked, "I don't want you to get scared."

Tweek nodded, nuzzling into the crook of Craig's neck. He loved being next to Craig, it just always made him feel so calm and welcomed whenever his boyfriend was around. Craig somehow managed to make Tweek calm during a monster of all storms, which had to have said something, right?

Craig kept gazing over Tweek's lips, they had never kissed before, but Craig wanted to change that. He always felt open and loving around Tweek, a drastic change from his attitudes on day to day life. There was just something about the blonde boy that made his heart pound.

The pair looked at each other for a moment, and smiled. Craig finally got up all the courage he could and planted a soft kiss on Tweek's lips. At first, Tweek didn't know how to react, but after a couple seconds, he began to kiss back too. Both of them didn't want it to ever stop, and they embraced each other closely as the snow outside flurried on.

When they finally pulled apart, they just looked at each other for a couple seconds, until Craig broke the silence.

"That was gay."

"You're gay! You just kissed me!" Tweek quipped back, giggling to himself.

"Yeah, I guess I'm gay." Craig smiled, kissing Tweek again.


	3. SOT AU

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A cunning thief attacks the castle during a party. Will Tweek be able to catch him?

“GET BACK HERE!!” 

The sound of feet thumping against the floor and heavy breaths filled the old stone walls. Two shadowy figures chased after each other, staircase after staircase and hallway after hallway.

The barbarian was getting antsy. He’d been chasing this cunning thief for too long, and on his own. The armies and princess herself were down in the banquet hall while the lone barbarian was made to watch over the princess’ room. Alone.

Some guard he made! Any thief would know that this was the perfect time to strike, and Tweek fucked it all up.

Tweek kept an eagle glare on the caped rouge as the golden ring he stole glistened in the moonlight that was seeping into the corridors. This thief didn’t know the castle the way Tweek did, maybe he could use that to his advantage.

The barbarian unsheathed his dagger and threw it at the wall in front of the thief, just missing him. The now-startled bandit changed his direction up the stairs to one of the great towers, where he would have nowhere to run. Tweek would catch him for sure there!

The ring-nabber threw himself onto the weak wooden door leading to the very top of the tower, slamming it open. Not that anyone would hear, except for the guardsman that was right behind him.

As Tweek’s eyes adjusted to the sudden burst of cool light from outside the door. When he stepped outside of it, hooded figure was frantically looking around for an escape, still clutching the ring he’d stolen.

“Ah… AHA!!” Tweek panted out, still tired from running up and down the castle. “I gotcha!” He smirked, proud of himself for his quick thinking for a moment before remembering that it was his fault that the ring had been stolen anyways.

But by now, the thief was desperate. He backed up into a block separating him from the fall down into the street, where carts full of goods raced in and out of the castle’s main gate.

“H-hand over the ring!” Tweek huffed again, holding out his palm. 

The brown-caped thief shifted his green eyes up at the barbarian, back to his palm, and then down the tower. He undid his scarf, which revealed a stotic expression despite him being in quite a bit of danger.

Tweek took this as a sign of defeat.

“Now!! That ring is worth thousands in gold and if I don’t get it back to the princess’ room, I’ll be exiled! Or sold into slavery!” Tweek noticed that the criminal kept looking backwards at the street below them.

He smirked, and slid the ring onto his finger. Tweek’s eyes widened and he shuddered. Was the thief going to kill him?! He had left his only weapon down that whole flight of stairs, and he couldn’t fight with his bare hands!

“That’s cute.” the thief snapped, stepping back onto the block. “Why don’t you come and get it?”

And with that, the noirette thief jumped backwards off of the tower.

Tweek let out a yelp, and ran over to the edge frantically. What was he thinking?! Tweek’s breath stiffened again as he realized that the thief landed into a cart of soft hay that was exiting the castle and going out into the farmlands again.

“AGH!!! WHAT AM I GONNA DO NOW?!” Tweek screamed to himself, pulling at his hair. This was way too much pressure! What was he gonna tell the royals?! He suddenly snapped back to his senses, remembering what the thief had said.

Come and get it.

Tweek spied a look on the thief again, who was still riding on the horse-drawn cart, admiring his prize. The sight filled him with rage. Tweek awkwardly stood up on the block, and gazed out over the racing carts. It was now or never.

Expecting to hit the ground with a thud, Tweek found that he had actually landed in another cart of hay. He made it! After ruffling his head of all of the hay, he spotted the thief again, leaping out of his cart and running into the surrounding castle fields. If the armies and guards were here, it would’ve been over quickly. But nope, Tweek was all alone in this. As usual.

He jumped out of his cart and dodged all the other passing drivers and pedestrians, who were either on their way to the banquet or just leaving, sloppy and drunk. The wind blew over Tweek’s body, brushing clumps of hay out of his face and giving him a better look at the thief. He was heading into the woods. 

\--Timeskip a few hours later--

Tweek finally sat down to rest against the trunk of a tree. Useless. He was completely useless. And alone. And lost. And cold too.

He’d spent hours looking for the thief now, through his twisting and turns through the trees. While Tweek had an advantage in navigating the castle, here, he was incredibly lost. He felt his body twitch and shake as he began to cry. The sun was coming up by now. In a couple hours, the court would wake up with a hangover and realize that the princess’ precious ring was gone. And so was the barbarian, who would die alone and starving in the woods without a weapon.

Suddenly, there was a rustle in the trees. Tweek’s tear-coated head shot up and almost hit the tree behind him. What was that?! A wolf? A bear? 

Tweek looked from side to side again, with not a creature in sight. He scrunched up again and let out all his anger.

“IF YOU’RE GONNA KILL ME JUST DO IT!! I CAN’T GO BACK AND I’M GONNA DIE HERE!! AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHGHGGGGGGGG.”

_swoosh_

“Why would I want to do that?”  
Tweek recognized that nasally voice. He wiped his eyes and saw the smirking thief sitting down in front of him. 

“I-It’s you!!”  
“It’s me.”  
“You stole the princess’ ring!”  
“Yeah.”  
“YOU’RE A THIEF!”

The taller boy sat up a bit and looked at the ring on his finger.

“Yeah, that’s kind of my whole thing.” he said calmly, “My name’s Feldspar, but you can call me Craig.”

Tweek slouched over, picking at his fingernails and wiping the tears from his eyes.

“I can never go back… if they find out I lost the ring they’ll execute me.” Tweek mumbled out, leaning back against the bark of the tree. Craig kept staring at him.

“You didn’t lose the ring.” he responded, “I stole it.”

“THAT DOESN’T MAKE ME FEEL BETTER!” Tweek screamed out, putting his head in his hands again. A shivering breeze passed through the trees, making the shirtless barbarian shudder. Suddenly, he felt a warm fabric drape all around his body, which he nestled into quickly. Tweek looked back up at the now capeless Craig, and stared at the ground again.

“You know… if you’re just gonna kill me in the end, do it.” Tweek whined, “I can never go back to the kingdom. You don’t have to be so nice to me first and then stab me in the back or whatever.”  
Craig looked somewhat hurt by this, and shifted his body to sit right next to the sobbing guard.

“I know.” he responded. “I brought you here because… well, I know you probably hate me, but... it gets pretty lonely in the forest.”

Tweek looked up at Craig and stared.

“Since you can’t go back,” Craig continued, “maybe we can just hang out here for awhile until I can sell this ring’s gold to a merchant? Then we could sail somewhere else. Start a new life.”

Even though Tweek was angry, he had to admire the rouge’s thoughtfulness.  
He wasn’t exactly angry at Craig, anyways.

“Y-yeah.” Tweek sniffled out, wiping his face. “That- That would be ok.”

Craig smiled, and took off the ring to slide it onto Tweek’s finger. Tweek’s entire face turned red, redder than it had been before. Craig took Tweek’s hand again and helped him up, with Tweek still keeping the cape firmly around his shoulders.

“Come on, let’s get you cleaned up. There’s a creek nearby.” Craig said, holding Tweek’s hand and leading him there.

“Thank you, Craig.” Tweek whispered.


End file.
